Jagriti's note

This title sound like something Guruji (from Sacred Games) would say. Soon I will be 30 and I was talking to my dad about my should-haves and shouldn’t-haves through my 20s. I was ranting how my certain beliefs about “success” has lead a stressful and not a fulfilling time during my 20s.                                                                                           From Indiatimes To my surprise he told his view on how most people’s 20s and 30s are the most stressful time in their life. He began to explain how being in your 20s changes you and people around you, such as nobody will necessarily care about your table manners or either you “darshan”ed all the people in a room or not. At this point of life, you will begin to be scrutinized and judged on what you study or work (roughly translated as how much you WILL/DO make ). Since you are at your 20s, you don’t know things better so you start to do things that will avoid you being judged in a “not-so-good-status” way. This eve

  We decided to be pregnant once I graduate. I moved to the USA two years back and I was graduating in June 2019. I had been working as an Engineer for over a year now, this was a change of my career altogether. We both work, my husband earned more than me(this fact makes sense once you read my doubts). Even though we wanted to save/invest more before we have kid, like buy a house, go on Europe tour for 2 months, big cars ( you know, the typical immigrant American dream ), we realized we wanted kid more than that. So after all the rational financial, psychological and emotional calculation, we went for it. To be honest, I don’t like kids nor do I hate them. We didn’t decide to have kid because I was all soaked in motherly-fairy-emotions where I would “aww” kids in supermarket or go crazy when I smell them or have a biological clock ticking (well, I am kinda old but I do have fair amount of time, biologically). We got pregnant because we felt we are ready to be parents, and I thought I

  Our wedding was nothing magical like I dreamt it would be. You know, that kind of wedding where everything is all fairy tale like, everyone excited for it (well, I don’t think any wedding can be like that, but such was my wish). It was an unconventional wedding and it took a lot of effort and help from everyone. The “normal” is so normal in us that anything diverse from that is a bizarre concept. When I felt like spending my entire life with a man who is not from our caste, floods of emotions started hitting me. Is it worth it? Should I hurt my parents? Will I be so unhappy if I go for someone from my caste? My dad Mom can find a good person for me. My parents don’t deserve this, they will be hurt. After all they did everything for their children, right? Why am I such a bad person to not think about all their troubles? Why go through all the trouble when I can give all the happiness to them by marrying someone from my caste? Why am I so selfish. The state was excruciating mentally. T

  We humans are pretty sane, at least we try to be. Therefore the notion of loving someone who does not love us back can easily be concluded as pathetic. The idea of loving someone who goes care-freely  unconcerned of our acts feels uncomfortable and painful at times. But I discovered that the unrequited love is salutary in it’s own way. He called, it was a drunk call. The whole story has nothing to do with him being drunk but only for the part where he wanted to talk freely or wanted me to think so, may be. He is one of the smartest person I know; rational fellow, intellect and quite a philosopher. And yet, he loves a girl who didn’t love him back for years. I knew this but that was the first time he shared his story and it got me thinking. In real world, we get frustrated by people’s selfishness, hate them for their mediocrity and indifference but with the unrequited love we can have the abundant munificence of loving like parent of a newly born. So he went into expressing his love a